MELODY DATZ HANSEN
  • Home
  • Publications
  • Blog

Boxed in

9/19/2018

0 Comments

 
I started reading Celeste Ng's Little Fires Everywhere yesterday. I read in two ways now, in this new different life where mothering and cooking and growing things has taken precedence over books and work: I read parenting and self-help books at night, and I "read" audio books for an hour or two in the afternoon while West naps. I used to poop on the idea of audible books as a bonafide literary experience. I don't now. I take books in whatever way I can get them, and I feel shitty for how I used to judge people who read this way.
I feel shitty for a lot of judgy things I did in the past. It was easy to categorize people, to label them as Soccer Mom or Suit or Ave Rat or Christian Goth (yes, you read that right, and they're really pretty cool). It's more simple to put people in a box than to reflect on the intricacies of the experiences that make up who they are. In the first chapters of Ng's book, her descriptions of a white suburban professional mother are cloaked in shades of disapproval and negativity, the woman's wealth and privilege are used to discredit any depth her character might actually have and we are made to hate her from the moment we meet her. Maybe there's a great reason for this--I'm barely into the book--but it rubs me the wrong way. We already do this to each other in real life, particularly in motherhood, and I'm sick of it. I catch myself doing it all the time. And it's dangerous. There's a fine line between recognizing personal failure and privilege and judging the shit out of other people for not living up to our own expectations. I'd like to teach my son to know this line and walk it. I'll let you know when I figure out how the hell to find it. 
0 Comments

    Author

    Mother 
    Dance critic
    Freelance writer
    ​Frequent napper

    Archives

    September 2022
    November 2021
    September 2021
    October 2020
    May 2020
    February 2020
    November 2019
    October 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    February 2019
    November 2018
    September 2018
    March 2018
    July 2017
    June 2017
    April 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    October 2016

    Categories

    All
    Books
    Breastfeeding
    Dance
    Feminism
    Humble Pie
    Motherhood
    Parenting
    PNB
    School

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • Publications
  • Blog